#ErasedButNotForgotten: A Father’s Heartfelt Plea Against Parental Alienation

Parental alienation is a silent epidemic that tears families apart, leaving deep scars on children and parents alike. As a father who has been falsely accused and pushed to the margins by the other parent, my only wish is to see my children thrive, to share their laughter, and to be present for life’s milestones. Instead, I find myself erased from their lives—not because I am unfit, but because of manipulation and coercion. This is my story, and the story of countless others across Canada.

> “Parental alienation refers to the experience of a child who has been influenced to reject and hate one parent by the other parent.” — Dr. Amy Baker[1]

**The Devastating Reality in Canada**

Statistics are staggering: up to **25% of parents nationwide** engage in alienating behaviors, and **3.9 million Canadian children** have been alienated from one of their parents[5]. This is not a rare or isolated issue—it is a form of psychological manipulation that experts call “emotional child abuse”[3][1]. The trauma it inflicts on children is profound, leading to low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and a lifelong struggle with trust and self-worth[5].

> “The trauma it causes the child is much worse. The devastating effects on children include, but are not limited to, low self-esteem, self-hatred, anger, guilt, disconnection, lack of trust, depression, anxiety and PTSD.”[5]

**Expert Voices and the Call for Change**

Dr. Amy Baker, a leading authority on parental alienation, emphasizes that **equal shared parenting** could dramatically reduce these cases, ensuring both parents remain active in their children’s lives unless there is clear evidence of abuse or neglect[1]. Yet, in the courts, the burden often falls on the alienated parent to prove the abuse, while the child is caught in a tug-of-war of loyalty and fear[3][7].

A 2024 study published in SAGE Journals affirms that **parental alienation is a form of domestic violence** that affects both mothers and fathers, and should be recognized and addressed by health, social services, and the legal system[6].

**A Father’s Pain: #ErasedButNotForgotten**

Every day without my children is a day spent wondering if they remember my love, my hugs, my bedtime stories. I am not a danger. I am not absent by choice. I am simply a father who loves his children, erased but not forgotten. The pain of being falsely accused, of having my character questioned, is nothing compared to the ache of missing my children’s lives.

**Motivating Change: From Awareness to Action**

If you are reading this and feel the weight of loss or injustice, know that you are not alone. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) teaches us that our thoughts shape our reality. Do not let despair define you. Instead, let it fuel your resolve. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) reminds us that change begins with language—so speak up, share your story, and demand change.

Imagine your child’s future: one where they are free to love both parents, unburdened by guilt or fear. Visualize a world where the courts protect children’s rights to both parents, and where alienation is recognized for the abuse it is. Take action: sign petitions, write to lawmakers, and support organizations fighting for family unity.

> “There is absolutely no reason to keep your child from the other parent, unless that parent is a danger to the well-being of the child. A child is a human being, not a possession!”[5]

**Unconditional Love: My Promise to My Children**

To my children: No matter how far apart we are, my love for you is unconditional and unwavering. I will never stop fighting for your right to know both sides of your family, to feel the love of your father. You are not forgotten. You are cherished, always.

**Let us stand together to end parental alienation. Let our voices echo with one message: #ErasedButNotForgotten. Our children deserve nothing less.**

*If you or someone you know is experiencing parental alienation, reach out for support. Together, we can bring hope and healing to families torn apart by this hidden abuse.*

Sources

[1] Parental Alienation is a Ubiquitous Form of Child Abuse in ... https://www.complexfamilylaw.com/blog/2023/09/parental-alienation-ubiquitous-form-child-abuse-canadas-family-courts/

[2] New UN Report Calls on Canada to Ban Use of Parental ... https://nawl.ca/news-release-new-un-report-calls-on-canada-to-ban-use-of-parental-alienation-accusations-in-family-court/

[3] How Canadian courts handle parental alienation https://www.lexpert.ca/news/legal-faq/how-canadian-courts-handle-parental-alienation-a-parents-guide/391756

[4] Parental Alienation Campaign https://nawl.ca/pacampaign/

[5] e-4595 (Justice) https://www.ourcommons.ca/petitions/en/Petition/Details?Petition=e-4595

[6] Parental alienation – a valid experience? - Eivind Meland, Dag Furuholmen, David Jahanlu, 2024 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/14034948231168978

[7] Children Resisting Contact & Parental Alienation: Strategies for Lawyers in High Conflict Parenting Cases https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4839167

[8] Children Resisting Contact & Parental Alienation: https://www.canlii.org/w/canlii/2024CanLIIDocs921.pdf

[9] Parental Alienation in Canada https://www.kozyrevlaw.ca/alienation-parental/

[10] Parental alienation cases: Challenges and realities - Law360 Canada https://www.law360.ca/ca/articles/1813852/parental-alienation-cases-challenges-and-realities